Freedom

Hey sorry guys i have been in a state of depression something like that lar after having some love problems!!
But hey! i got something to share
I've always felt that he was the one sometimes i don't realize that i am actually hiding from the truth , hiding from the fact that maybe that spark has been long gone , and that loving moment has been over.From time to time we are always making choices , brain storming , changing our minds , changing ourselves for the better and preparing ourselves for what the future is going to bring.
But sometimes we don't realize that instead of moving forward we are actually running in circles over and over again.My friend told me like hey why are you so stuck up in your own misery, why are you doing this to yourself you are just 17 years old , because of a guy you do this to yourself? you get yourself all depressed all emotional and all teary? is it worth it? you are just 17 , how many things have you encounter? how many people have you met? HOW MANY PARTS OF THE WORLD HAVE YOU SEEN? How much bitter have you gone through? Well its nothing , in this 17 years we will always find this one guy we think that HE IS THE ONE , HE WILL BE THE ONE THAT WE ARE GOING TO GET MARRIED TO IN THE FUTURE... Well think again :) it took me probably 2 weeks or more to think about it over and over again , think like hey What have i done to myself!
We are just 17 we are suppose to enjoy life , be with friends , have fun! Go on road trips , go on vacations and stuff like that ! then why be so glued up to your man/girl? its not logical you don't know what tomorrow brings , you just stay at the same spot not wanting to explore this wonderful world you just hope to stay with that person you love at the moment...

Let me tell you a story , i have a friend well she is a girl , she met this boy during high school and thought that they would be able to walk a long way , get married have kids and stuff like that but after being with that person for almost 5 years , she realized that he wasn't the one...
5 years and that relationship went down the drain...because of one thing , different thoughts and dreams ... We might share the same aspirations at first but well 1 year goes by and another year past again how sure are you that you will still stay the same have the same opinion about something??
We might think that we are mature enough to handle something but actually at this age , no one is mature enough to make the correct judgment ..Not you , Not me , Not us . We all can't judge a situation properly...

After being alone for a few days and finally allowing myself to go out and socialize with others again , i found out that hey love isn't everything... It might be everything when you are in it , but when you are out of it , you see a lot of things you never notice before , you look at stuff in a different dimension..
i feel really happy honestly!!! i have never feel so carefree before?! well should i say GAY! XD
its really fun being around with your girl friends you know dyeing their hair for them , having slumber parties , loiter around the shopping mall , look at bra and undies! its something i never do for a very long time... i have always think this way if i ever have time i would want to spend all of it with my boy but then i have just realize how foolish i was =)
Boys come and go but best friends are there forever! Really They would always stick up for me! whenever i have problems with someone or someone hurt my feelings they would be the first to hold a shovel and hunt that bastard down (Well its just a saying lar but we don't do it!!!)
I finally understand what is freedom =)
its really fun! you don't have to worry about him not replying your text , don't even have to think about what to give him on his birthday or on your anniversary! Its like i have been caging myself for so long too long , and now when i unleash myself i go WILD!
Party all day , hang out all night! talk all day and night , go out with anyone i want its just great! :)

Well like what Jojo said in her song DISASTER

"So disaster strikes but I'm alright cause my love is on its way"

Letting go wouldn't make you a weaker person , it will only make you see things clearly , face reality , and it will only make you grow stronger

Like what they all say
"What don't kills you will only make you stronger"
i have gone through my painful moments , my darkest nightmares but after a heavy rain comes a beautiful rainbow ; if you think i would fall down and die , you are wrong , i have just awaken and rise, i will be the brightest shooting star in the sky .

What has happened is already gone and done with , everything in the past will be kept as a memory in my heart , but what i am awaiting now is the future ahead of me :)
New SWAGGGGG baby

If you are still sulking in your own misery because the person you love left you for something else like freedom or anything then i feel sad for you =)
you only get to live once, think again how much time is left for you to waste on one person so just pick up your mess and move on ... They will never turn back and look at you kill your hope and put a smile on your face;The world won't stop spinning for you to fix things up it will only make you realize that you have been wasting too much time finding a needle in a haystack

my troubles flew away like helium balloons if i can so can you :)



Dedication to the people out there =)

True Facts About Girls

i bet you have seen this video call True Facts About Girls (Must Watch)
Its quite famous on Facebook in fact even after like 1 week people are still posting the video asking their friends to watch it!

well after u read this i would love to point out a few points!!

"Behind Every Successful Man Is A Woman ; Behind Every Unsuccessful Man Is Also A Woman"
If man are unsuccessful and a woman still stay with him this shows her loyalty towards him , this shows how much a woman love you and that they are willing to suffer with you when you are at your lowest.

"If i don't say i love you before i end the call she will start her melodrama"
Well u want to know why if you don't say i love you she would start her melodrama? Not because she is a drama queen , not because she is trying to seek attention but its because when you are with a person for long , they will be afraid to lose you one day , they have this fear of losing you thats why if you say i love you it will make them feel better.Even though people say Actions Speak Louder Than Words , but still sometimes even though the word don't mean a thing but at least it gives people a comfort and they don't have to think too much.

"Bollywood dramas is always about a girl and a guy they fall in love with each other and they live happily. But no one says what happen next "
Well do you want to know why in every love drama series you watch , its always happily ever after and no one says what happen next?
Its because Bollywood or whatever love drama series are like a fairy tales , people worte the script because in reality everything is the opposite.
Fairy tales exist when life is cruel , hopeless , sad , painful and sorrow.Thats the reason why fairy tales exist it is to let people get a taste of happiness and hope via it.
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Life is not a bed of roses ,
it might look easy but its hard.
the day i met you , i felt like we were going to last forever,
i shouldn't have believe it ,
not because i don't love you enough to believe it ,
but i think i won't fall for a men's words when they say forever.
nothing last forever when there is a start there will be an end.
you choose to be alone and let me go ,
i hope that one day when you wake up ,
you will realize that i really love you a lot ,
and remember all the things we did together ,
the long talks at the corridor , the short walks hand in hand , the warm hugs , the laughter we shared , the kind of joy we had together , the silly-ness that we both show when we are together without realizing it...

i am still hoping for a miracle to happen.How i wish i would have realize my mistakes earlier then maybe i could change everything


all the memories we had , it is priceless , all the laughter in our face i hope time stops and turn back again.

Play Pretend

we are all actors and actresses in life according to one of my friends theory.
well yeah its true! =) we are all fucking good actors and actresses we tend to hide our weaknesses hide our defects and we tend to be very deceitful.
But have you ever felt that when you are with 1 person of the opposite sex , only with them you feel like you don't have to put on a mask , hide your down sides , hide your weaknesses? Its like you let go of inner self that has been struggling like mad inside...
Its hard to find someone like that , you feel comfortable with them , feel the connection its almost as if you guys have a cable linking to each others.

i bet you have heard this for a billion , million , trillion times when someone break up , they tend to cry , after they cry after they get over the fact that they are all over , then they will start to party again start to have fun again.Thats life rite?
but what happens if you really happen to love that person so much , he meant so much to you , but he left you , you will probably think yeah you will get over it soon...
but how soon is soon? this is not like those normal breakups u know? not like HEY i'm gonna cry for 2 days maximum and i will hate you .But why this time , i don't hate you at all but i cried every morning when i wake up , weep when i think about you , weep when i hear our songs , weep when i go to all the places we went before..
what am i doing... moving backwards when you asked me to move forward

How can i let move forward when i know that it was really hard for us to be together , it was fate that we met each other , it was fate that brought us together , it was all the things you do and say . How can i let go of someone when i know that what we had was for real not just a silly game i play over and over again?

Well it took me a very long time to figure things out . For the past few days i was being a humpty dumpty when someone push me i would go to their way i was undecided and shit like that
but then now i have decided to give one last try.
even if it means being shot by a bullet and dying , at least i tried and i wouldn't regret.
i ain't desperate for a man , i'm just desperate for the reason that made our relationship fall flat on the ground , i'm just trying to get an answer that is satisfying and that is convincing.

the verdict jorney

the kind of fear of losing someone
the kind of fear of seeing the person you love most disappear in a thin flim of air
the kind of fear that the best things in life that god gave you is taken away in a blink of an eye


you will never know how i am feeling now
my hands are shaking , my feet is so ice cold its as if i don't have any blood flowing down , my heart is beating at a rate of a heart attack patient going on a roller coaster ride , my eyes are all dry and tired , my heart is hurting because i don't know what are you thinking now

this second i still have you but i hope that the next second and forever i will still have you by my side... i don't want to lose u in the next second...

its so hard to find someone that you mind so much , everything that he does or say can affect you so badly it can turn your whole world upside down, he meant the world to me , meeting him was the best thing that has ever happen to me
although he has the most intolerable attitude but still i love him...
i don't know why
its easy for you to say let go if it hurts you so badly but do you know how i feel inside? leaving him is what that hurts even more... it eats you bit by bit and when you are gone , there is not even a single flesh on your bones anymore...
its painful and terrifying...
looking at the dark alley in front of you, knowing that he is not going to be the torch light and to walk with you towards the dark alley its scary..
fate brought us together , don't let small mistakes take what we share and have away...
i am hopeless trying to hope for a miracle so that i have something to believe that you won't leave me now and forever.

i just miss everything you do and say =/ just hope that u will give me a chance to tell you how i feel inside before you decide to go or stay...



state:in fear
-Crystalbebe-
XoXoXo