Frustration

i bet i sound like one of those old grandmother or probably just acting too emotional...
but i'm the type of girl that will put up a smile a very big one and behind my smile no one knows how sad i am!
WHY! do you have to treat me like this?! i don't ask for more... i've said words that hurt my own feeling but never seem to affect you...
do you have any idea how much i miss you and how much am i longing for you to just type i love you sweetie!
i even say that i won't see you, you know how much of tears are rolling down my cheek now just typing it and sending it to you?
i love you so much you mean the world to me...Forever seems so impossible...
is this one of god test?! if it is , god please pass me if not i'm gonna die soon... i can't bare the kind of coldness and chills i am getting...i have to bare with this for 3 months...
i feel this air bubble stuck in my trachea my mouth is wide open breathing seems so painful now...

but i will persevere til the end i won't let go but just for now i feel so tired everytime when i pour my feelings out i get a one word reply and everytime when i say bye and i don't want to talk to him i feel like calling him up and telling him i take back my words but for now i just want to throw my phone away and hide myself in a box like how i use to when i am young... ...
people keep telling me don't think too much but sometimes my fucking emotions are just acting like bitches so yeah =')
i'll be fine after a few hours like always... i'm so useless!
i'm not an attention seeker , neither am i like your past i don't simply make a big fuss and get all emotional for nothing... its just that i need to get use to these changes!it takes time to get use to the coldness and tension if you understand.

-signing out-
0 Crystalbebe 0

i will survive =')