Secrets

when you are alone that is when you start to break down into pieces in silence -QUOTE

when you are alone no one cares
and all you wanted is someone to talk to and no one comes around
they always say they care about you but its just the saying , actually they didn't even care to look at you.
how sad is it to feel this pain
its like i am disappearing from the people
slowly the loneliness around you eats you up and all you have is your cellphone that never rings and you in a dark room
when your glamorous time is over , that is when the dark time comes and haunt you
when you look at yourself in the mirror and some tall size zero girl walks pass you , you feel like with their existence it makes you feel so embarrassed ...
i felt it today i was trying out some clothes when i walk out i see this super tall girl that wore the clothes so well and all of a sudden you feel like No all these clothes are only made for them in the first place...
no matter how you try to hide , they still wore it better and you will only be behind their shadow ..
how i wish i can grow taller and wear nice clothes like them...
all i ever wanted is to grow taller become slimmer and become pretty..
but its just like every time i got my confidence back , suddenly some tall hot girl just walk pass me and i'll be like " GOD i wear this shirt until it looks super ugly not meant to wear it"
makes you suddenly feel sad and your mood goes away....
i bet most of the ppl out there feel like how i feel sometimes...

Dream ♥

i never like facing realities when it comes to choosing between two people.
i'd rather fall asleep and never wake up
because any decision you make one side will always get hurt and you never want to see that happen...
its so cruel
you are mad at me
you wanted an explanation i looked at you like one kind because i didn't even need an explanation i didn't even do anything wrong i was mad when you say that i thought that it didn't make sense i thought of disappearing in your life forever
i switched off my phone in Chemistry class i couldn't put a smile on my damn face everyone looked at me and ask me hey wassup you look damn tired i just fake a smile
i felt tired and again i felt like running away from reality its been a long time since i done that...
but yet its not the pain that kills its the loneliness in your soul that kills...

Leaving

you know how much it hurts when you say those things.
its like i think i just loss my best friend forever that was once the funniest guy i have ever met and the craziest shit that has ever happen to me!
i feel down again...
all i want now
is just my pillow so that i can cry on and scream...
headache is killing me...things you said just made me die
i can't believe u said that and i can't believe we argue
just one day before you are going to leave...
best friends forever those days when we all use to skip classes make prank calls go party enjoy all are gone
you said the old you is DEAD...
i don't care even if the new you is a cold hearted person i don't care cause you are my BFF once my BFF forever my BFF...
i know how you feel
cause i feel it too...
i feel so sick when i am sad no one is there for me
when i get bullied people would just stand and stare
when i skip classes it just doesn't feel the same no more...
now i feel like heyy whats the point of all these! how i wish that time can go back again and you can stay maybe things will never be the same
maybe we all won't go our separate ways and end up when one of us want to meet each other we won't feel like "YOU AIN'T MY BESTIE NO MORE"
you know how sad is it ?? i learn something when you hate someone so much , you will say anything to hurt them and to stand at your angle ...
but what about me! i am left here all alone... with no one to hold
you think i am happy
i put a fucking smile on my face i tell everyone its okay
people believe me and no one sees what i feel inside...
its like i'm about to die and no one knows!

you feel the pain going down your throat you feel like the pain goes up ur brain and you can't think straight you feel like vomiting everything you eat out...
i'm so tired... i just want to hug someone... in a state of sadness

I like the way it hurts

life is hard i messed up my life and it has began to screw up more...
but i can't do anything but to surrender
i give up i am tired of this stuffs i just want to sit down relax my mind
you told me those things does that even mean anything or is it real maybe its not i don't know.not talking about NYS
i'm talking about someone else
if i have to walk this road alone...
and there is no more lights at the side walk and its cold and i know no one , i will still continue walking even if i really want to cry and just break down into pieces i won't
i won't put a tired sad face or cry in front of everyone...
i will just smile and laugh...
i will always be strong even if it means i'm dying inside
i don't need anyones sympathy i want someone that will really know when i am sad and will come and ask me Hey what's wrong girl i know how you feel i was there before...
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry but its alright because i love the way you lie ... ...
LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE-RIHANNA FT EMINEM

So lost in the moments
When you're in 'em
It's the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it's best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It's a different day
Sound like broken records
Playin' over
But you promised her
Next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

Cheer Clinic 2010 ;D

Cheer Clinic today well i was expecting something like air-con very cold place so i brought my jacket
Ok i have to admit it was a rather bumpy ride thr! 11 of us squeeze into Ea Chuan's small Van and luckily it was a short ride to Bukit Jalil =D
when we reach thr omg so hot and stuffy!
we saw teams like Vibrants , Cyrens , Gems , Vipers , Zodiac all boys and girls , anchors , and Pirates all boys and girls team i hope i never miss out any team if i do mahh bad >0<'!!!
we keep practicing non stop thr and we were a lil nervous though when the judges come and teach us how we can improve our jumps and stuff ...
we tried our very best but there is still more space for improvement though
after the cheer clinic everyone was exhausted but the girls team have to take the lrt back to the school cause there was not enough car to fetch so many people...
so sad
but we had fun !!!





Crazy MOMENTS WITH PIRATES ALL GIRLS TEAM ;D <3 <3

babygirl :)

even if the sky falls down and the thunder tear you into pieces you still need to put a smile on your face and tell yourself that this is NOTHING!and you can do it nothing in this world can stop you from moving forward <3
its funny how last time we use to listen to what our parents say and do whatever they want and now we won't even listen to what they say or follow what they want!
all we do now is talk back and stand on our own solid ground ...
Jeez!
i read the msg you left me its so touching =)
and it made me wanna cry and smile at the same time
mixed feelings overwhelmed my heart
i think i fell in love with rabbits!!!
cute fluffy puffy rabbits that cannot grow big!!!!
the baby rabbit omg so cute =)
biiibiiiii!!! rabbittt!!!! <3 <3 i wanna have one awww..... cute rabbits!!!

Cry til the TEARS are GONE

i argue with my mom

i keep crying i don't know how long but i kept crying my tears kept rolling down i cannot control my emotions its like my heart is aching and my flesh is tearing apart it hurts so much...

i cry until my tears are dried

she told me "you never go against me before just because of him you go against me??How can you do this i am your mom!"

i shouted back "GO AWAY!!!!"
i cannot take it i hear my mom cry...

i'm sorry i know when you read this post it might be the last time i can talk to you nicely or sit beside you

but i hope you understand because now its really hard for me to tell you this but i have to

its been so nice seriously being with you =)

its just that i couldn't take it my mom argue with me everyday and today she cross my boarder line and she woke me up and she told me is it worth it just because of one guy you go against your own mother

i can't do it.... no matter how much i hate her she is still my mom even if i say things that i didn't mean she is still my mom

i have to BU with you i got no choice i know you will hate me but today i am tired of crying and arguing with my mom.... ....

so no matter how sad and how much i don't want this to happen i couldn't lie anymore...

i couldn't lie to her that i'm not with you

can we be like last time best best best super close friends for now if not i think i have to bare more than just SUSPENDED PHONE i think i might have to transfer tuition center and even more shits....

i hope you understand what i am in now and i hope you won't be mad at me

MyHotComments

Busted ♥

today after cheer practice i went out to eat at Nurin MAMAK near Carefore
and then i went with him.
and on the way back , my mom saw him and i was BUSTED! because he try to hide and it didn't work so everything ended up so SCREWED UP!
on the way home i got lectured she keep telling me to break up and stuff like that
i am so angry pissed off and TIRED!
sick and TIRED of what she says! But at least me n him we went to the Pet Shop with 2 of my juniors and we saw cute puppies , rabbits and HAMSTERSS!!!! AAHHHHH i want a puppy! its so cute =D

Listening to Justin Bieber Ft Usher :Somebody to love
I don’t need a whole lot
But for you I admit I
Rather give you the world
Or we can share mine

I know that I won’t be the first one
Given you all this attention
But baby listen

I just need somebody to love
I-I don’t need too much

Just need somebody to love.
(Somebody to love)
I don’t need nothing else
I promise girl, I swear.
I just need somebody to love.

I need somebody I-I need somebody
I need somebody I-I need somebody.

COUNTDOWN BOX : Days til Cheer COMP
4 DAYS excluded Cheer Clinic

sick

i can tell you that i feel like my bones are about to fall apart and i feel sick
fever flu .... what can be more worst...
a fight

I never knew that everything was falling through
That after all these years id still be calling you
To try to sell you on the thought of coming back to me

this song keeps playing in my head =) its such a nice song
just because i don't talk doesn't mean i won't get pissed off or don't understand

these are the moments i want to sit down at a dark corner and fall asleep in someones arms...
i am tired very tired but this doesn't stop me from wanting to win