Freedom

Hey sorry guys i have been in a state of depression something like that lar after having some love problems!!
But hey! i got something to share
I've always felt that he was the one sometimes i don't realize that i am actually hiding from the truth , hiding from the fact that maybe that spark has been long gone , and that loving moment has been over.From time to time we are always making choices , brain storming , changing our minds , changing ourselves for the better and preparing ourselves for what the future is going to bring.
But sometimes we don't realize that instead of moving forward we are actually running in circles over and over again.My friend told me like hey why are you so stuck up in your own misery, why are you doing this to yourself you are just 17 years old , because of a guy you do this to yourself? you get yourself all depressed all emotional and all teary? is it worth it? you are just 17 , how many things have you encounter? how many people have you met? HOW MANY PARTS OF THE WORLD HAVE YOU SEEN? How much bitter have you gone through? Well its nothing , in this 17 years we will always find this one guy we think that HE IS THE ONE , HE WILL BE THE ONE THAT WE ARE GOING TO GET MARRIED TO IN THE FUTURE... Well think again :) it took me probably 2 weeks or more to think about it over and over again , think like hey What have i done to myself!
We are just 17 we are suppose to enjoy life , be with friends , have fun! Go on road trips , go on vacations and stuff like that ! then why be so glued up to your man/girl? its not logical you don't know what tomorrow brings , you just stay at the same spot not wanting to explore this wonderful world you just hope to stay with that person you love at the moment...

Let me tell you a story , i have a friend well she is a girl , she met this boy during high school and thought that they would be able to walk a long way , get married have kids and stuff like that but after being with that person for almost 5 years , she realized that he wasn't the one...
5 years and that relationship went down the drain...because of one thing , different thoughts and dreams ... We might share the same aspirations at first but well 1 year goes by and another year past again how sure are you that you will still stay the same have the same opinion about something??
We might think that we are mature enough to handle something but actually at this age , no one is mature enough to make the correct judgment ..Not you , Not me , Not us . We all can't judge a situation properly...

After being alone for a few days and finally allowing myself to go out and socialize with others again , i found out that hey love isn't everything... It might be everything when you are in it , but when you are out of it , you see a lot of things you never notice before , you look at stuff in a different dimension..
i feel really happy honestly!!! i have never feel so carefree before?! well should i say GAY! XD
its really fun being around with your girl friends you know dyeing their hair for them , having slumber parties , loiter around the shopping mall , look at bra and undies! its something i never do for a very long time... i have always think this way if i ever have time i would want to spend all of it with my boy but then i have just realize how foolish i was =)
Boys come and go but best friends are there forever! Really They would always stick up for me! whenever i have problems with someone or someone hurt my feelings they would be the first to hold a shovel and hunt that bastard down (Well its just a saying lar but we don't do it!!!)
I finally understand what is freedom =)
its really fun! you don't have to worry about him not replying your text , don't even have to think about what to give him on his birthday or on your anniversary! Its like i have been caging myself for so long too long , and now when i unleash myself i go WILD!
Party all day , hang out all night! talk all day and night , go out with anyone i want its just great! :)

Well like what Jojo said in her song DISASTER

"So disaster strikes but I'm alright cause my love is on its way"

Letting go wouldn't make you a weaker person , it will only make you see things clearly , face reality , and it will only make you grow stronger

Like what they all say
"What don't kills you will only make you stronger"
i have gone through my painful moments , my darkest nightmares but after a heavy rain comes a beautiful rainbow ; if you think i would fall down and die , you are wrong , i have just awaken and rise, i will be the brightest shooting star in the sky .

What has happened is already gone and done with , everything in the past will be kept as a memory in my heart , but what i am awaiting now is the future ahead of me :)
New SWAGGGGG baby

If you are still sulking in your own misery because the person you love left you for something else like freedom or anything then i feel sad for you =)
you only get to live once, think again how much time is left for you to waste on one person so just pick up your mess and move on ... They will never turn back and look at you kill your hope and put a smile on your face;The world won't stop spinning for you to fix things up it will only make you realize that you have been wasting too much time finding a needle in a haystack

my troubles flew away like helium balloons if i can so can you :)



Dedication to the people out there =)

True Facts About Girls

i bet you have seen this video call True Facts About Girls (Must Watch)
Its quite famous on Facebook in fact even after like 1 week people are still posting the video asking their friends to watch it!

well after u read this i would love to point out a few points!!

"Behind Every Successful Man Is A Woman ; Behind Every Unsuccessful Man Is Also A Woman"
If man are unsuccessful and a woman still stay with him this shows her loyalty towards him , this shows how much a woman love you and that they are willing to suffer with you when you are at your lowest.

"If i don't say i love you before i end the call she will start her melodrama"
Well u want to know why if you don't say i love you she would start her melodrama? Not because she is a drama queen , not because she is trying to seek attention but its because when you are with a person for long , they will be afraid to lose you one day , they have this fear of losing you thats why if you say i love you it will make them feel better.Even though people say Actions Speak Louder Than Words , but still sometimes even though the word don't mean a thing but at least it gives people a comfort and they don't have to think too much.

"Bollywood dramas is always about a girl and a guy they fall in love with each other and they live happily. But no one says what happen next "
Well do you want to know why in every love drama series you watch , its always happily ever after and no one says what happen next?
Its because Bollywood or whatever love drama series are like a fairy tales , people worte the script because in reality everything is the opposite.
Fairy tales exist when life is cruel , hopeless , sad , painful and sorrow.Thats the reason why fairy tales exist it is to let people get a taste of happiness and hope via it.
__________________________________________________________________________
Life is not a bed of roses ,
it might look easy but its hard.
the day i met you , i felt like we were going to last forever,
i shouldn't have believe it ,
not because i don't love you enough to believe it ,
but i think i won't fall for a men's words when they say forever.
nothing last forever when there is a start there will be an end.
you choose to be alone and let me go ,
i hope that one day when you wake up ,
you will realize that i really love you a lot ,
and remember all the things we did together ,
the long talks at the corridor , the short walks hand in hand , the warm hugs , the laughter we shared , the kind of joy we had together , the silly-ness that we both show when we are together without realizing it...

i am still hoping for a miracle to happen.How i wish i would have realize my mistakes earlier then maybe i could change everything


all the memories we had , it is priceless , all the laughter in our face i hope time stops and turn back again.

Play Pretend

we are all actors and actresses in life according to one of my friends theory.
well yeah its true! =) we are all fucking good actors and actresses we tend to hide our weaknesses hide our defects and we tend to be very deceitful.
But have you ever felt that when you are with 1 person of the opposite sex , only with them you feel like you don't have to put on a mask , hide your down sides , hide your weaknesses? Its like you let go of inner self that has been struggling like mad inside...
Its hard to find someone like that , you feel comfortable with them , feel the connection its almost as if you guys have a cable linking to each others.

i bet you have heard this for a billion , million , trillion times when someone break up , they tend to cry , after they cry after they get over the fact that they are all over , then they will start to party again start to have fun again.Thats life rite?
but what happens if you really happen to love that person so much , he meant so much to you , but he left you , you will probably think yeah you will get over it soon...
but how soon is soon? this is not like those normal breakups u know? not like HEY i'm gonna cry for 2 days maximum and i will hate you .But why this time , i don't hate you at all but i cried every morning when i wake up , weep when i think about you , weep when i hear our songs , weep when i go to all the places we went before..
what am i doing... moving backwards when you asked me to move forward

How can i let move forward when i know that it was really hard for us to be together , it was fate that we met each other , it was fate that brought us together , it was all the things you do and say . How can i let go of someone when i know that what we had was for real not just a silly game i play over and over again?

Well it took me a very long time to figure things out . For the past few days i was being a humpty dumpty when someone push me i would go to their way i was undecided and shit like that
but then now i have decided to give one last try.
even if it means being shot by a bullet and dying , at least i tried and i wouldn't regret.
i ain't desperate for a man , i'm just desperate for the reason that made our relationship fall flat on the ground , i'm just trying to get an answer that is satisfying and that is convincing.

the verdict jorney

the kind of fear of losing someone
the kind of fear of seeing the person you love most disappear in a thin flim of air
the kind of fear that the best things in life that god gave you is taken away in a blink of an eye


you will never know how i am feeling now
my hands are shaking , my feet is so ice cold its as if i don't have any blood flowing down , my heart is beating at a rate of a heart attack patient going on a roller coaster ride , my eyes are all dry and tired , my heart is hurting because i don't know what are you thinking now

this second i still have you but i hope that the next second and forever i will still have you by my side... i don't want to lose u in the next second...

its so hard to find someone that you mind so much , everything that he does or say can affect you so badly it can turn your whole world upside down, he meant the world to me , meeting him was the best thing that has ever happen to me
although he has the most intolerable attitude but still i love him...
i don't know why
its easy for you to say let go if it hurts you so badly but do you know how i feel inside? leaving him is what that hurts even more... it eats you bit by bit and when you are gone , there is not even a single flesh on your bones anymore...
its painful and terrifying...
looking at the dark alley in front of you, knowing that he is not going to be the torch light and to walk with you towards the dark alley its scary..
fate brought us together , don't let small mistakes take what we share and have away...
i am hopeless trying to hope for a miracle so that i have something to believe that you won't leave me now and forever.

i just miss everything you do and say =/ just hope that u will give me a chance to tell you how i feel inside before you decide to go or stay...



state:in fear
-Crystalbebe-
XoXoXo

Growing up

Growing up you face a lot of problems not because you get all fucked up with your private life but its just that when you grow up , you start to have a lot of CHOICES , and those choices can determine what and who you are going to be in the future. You start making choices but you start to wonder if its for the better or not.
During this SPM exam period *well its not done yet i still have 3 papers to sit for*, i learnt a lot of things , i have learnt that you need to try your best in order to get quality results.Throughout this period of examination i really feel stressed out! not because i didn't prepare well (ok maybe its a lil because of that) but then its like the pressure of getting A+ u know! its the competition between you and A+ its really deadly!
i really felt so tensed up ! before the exam i always joke around and say "AIYA as long as its an A then i am happy adi" But no!NO! seriously getting A-,A and A+ defines how much you have worked hard and how well have you done.
i couldn't sleep well , i have not enough time to revise back , i often feel scared , i would get mad at anyone who tries to criticize my actions , i feel like i need a time out you know its really tiring! trying to fight and fight , and trying to do my best sometimes i just hope that the person i love most would say baby don't worry everything will be okay i love you. but i guess its so close yet so far away.
SPM didn't just take away my social life , SPM took away my boyfriend from me! SPM brought stress and tension into my life. It introduced insomnia as my new friend.
sometimes after i finish a paper , i really feel like i am going to pass out or black out its just so tiring... stressful...

the tension of trying to prove to others what CRYSTAL WONG JING EE is made up of its really tough.the only thing that i have and i can prove to others that i am not just that Freaky little chick that parties around like mad , drink like there is no tomorrow , cheer like its my last day on earth or have a great boyfriend and i would sacrifice my time for him. The only thing that i can prove to others that i am not dumb is by scoring and nailing every single exam and to prove to those that underestimated me WRONG =)

actually my main intension wasn't to talk about how stress up my life is , its just that... you know sometimes you really want to spend some times with the guy you love even if its just talking for awhile and staring into each other eyes... but its so hard i can't sleep without talking to him... and everytime when i listen to Katy Perry's song i feel like crying...
watch this video if you want to know how i feel now


Signing out
-Crystalbebe-
XoXo

Second doubts

You know what couples face today in this cold and cruel world?
Second doubts...What if?
This happens to me... i have been through heartbreaks , been through parts of life where i screw up other peoples happy life... Been there when someone pick me up and sworn they would love me forever but they throw me away after everything is over...

i have been through situations that made me change my personality...
Foolish and naive thinking that he would come back to me when i change myself for him. but nope =) they all walk away without a good reason...
throughout the years of *Hitting my head on the wall* something i use to describe love , i just turn into someone that would be with guys that love me in my mind being loved is always better than loving someone...
but did it make me anywhere near or close to happy?No honestly , i almost lose all my friends...in that point of life , i feel hopeless and i didn't really believe that true love exist anymore... i just take love as a gamble and a game.You win you have it , you lose then you leave.

Until i really saw this specific guy that made me have this weird feeling i have never had for a very long long time..
Its a kind of spark you feel when you look at him... you feel like WOW who is this guy?Who is he and i am dying to know him =) Funny heh yeah that is the way i felt when i first saw him this electroshock feeling...
i have felt it once when i was in form3 but because of my own foolishness i lost it.. then after that i have never ever felt sparks when i see other guys... until i met this one guy in my 16birthday party... he was on the other side of the pool and i immediately spotted him and the first time when i look at him i get this spark again... the kind of feeling , so tempted to go near him and look at him in the eyes...
but he didn't notice me...
as time pass i get to know him better... we were introduced to each other.. well he wasn't just introduced to me but i just find him intriguing.. i text him everyday.
i don't mind admitting that i text him ... because i like him! at a point i felt like giving up because he seemed so uninterested.. and my friend told me that he didn't like me...
i was really sad i couldn't focus in my own life i couldn't move on... i feel so down and sad... i didn't know what to do ..
but then my best friend came to me and say i think he likes you...
and i figure out that so what if he don't like me? Doesn't mean i have to give up right? if you can't get someone out of your mind maybe he is meant to be there...
so i was very sure about my decision i just continued to love him in silence...
and 2 days before his birthday i threw him a surprise party ...and we got together=) that was the happiest day of my life! Seriously i feel blessed having him...

I have to admit that
He is not a very good when it comes to sweet talking
He is not very good at making a girl happy
He is dull
but one thing for sure... he knows how to make me smile , laugh , cry , go insane and just love him like mad! Its like a never ending roller coaster ride!
We've been so high up and we've been so low down , we've been through dirt on our face , said words we never imagine we would say , hurt each others feeling , make each other feel sad...
And i did the biggest mistake was to doubt his love to me...
That stupid fear of losing him caused me to have doubts on him
because of doubting him i have pushed him to the edge...
i'm sorry baby .... i don't know what to say anymore
i love you a lot but sometimes you just can't blame me if i have doubts... because i just don't have self confidence... i look like i have a lot of self confidence but the ugly truth is that i don't have... i am afraid that you will leave me that's why every time i freak out i would want you to reassure me... because of my own problem i have cause you to be unhappy... i'm sorry Jonathan Lai Jen Vin


i hope that i am not a burden to you

how i wish every moment with you would freeze and stop...because time seems to pass so fast when i am with you... i will appreciate you more...knowing that i will only live once in this life and there is only one of you in this world... i will...



-signing out-
0 Crystalbebe 0

Boxes , Locks , Keys and a whole load of Dirty secrets

Sometimes we are too afraid to speak out , sometimes we just let others over shadow us because we are afraid that when we speak out and raise our voices out no one will back us up , no one will agree with what we are saying...
The Fear of being rejected by the society and by everyone else in our so call Group , we refuse to speak our emotions out we just think that letting it go , not starting up a fight will be better.

We hide things like our feeling towards a boy , things we did that was wrong that made us feel guilt , we are from a broken family and all we ever wanted was a father that will be there for us , we just want a boy to prove to us that he is capable of not leaving us , things we hide like the fact that we are addicted to sex , cigarettes and alcohol , of the fact that we cheated on our partner , the fact that we can't stop eating or we are aneroxic
Everything we fear of , we will try hard to keep it inside a box and we basically just seal it up and throw it into some deep well or deep hole so that no one will ever find out what we did in the past , present or future...Embarrassing moments that you wish no one knew about ...










What drive us to do things like this?Was it our foolishness ?Was it our fear of losing our popularity and fame?Was it because of money?Was it because of love?Was it because the fact that we are just trying to get that thrill...We do something wrong and we regret but is that the right way to face our problems?
No! Stand out...So what if you did everything wrong and nothing right , mistakes are meant to be made! You only get to live once you learn from your mistakes its a good experience with a high price you have to pay but at least you won't repeat the same old mistakes... Do you know that when you hide it and try to run away from it , it comes back and haunt you?Do you have any idea how scary is it?i know how scary it is everywhere you go , you think that people know about it and that sudden fear can kill you and make you go crazy!
So speak out tell your close friend about it... because you have to know one things YOU ARE NOT ALONE NO MATTER IN WHAT SITUATION , THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT FACED AND WENT THRU THE SAME THING LIKE YOU .BE BRAVE TO SPEAK OUT BE BRAVE TO FACE YOUR PROBLEMS AND YOU WILL EVENTUALLY SEE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL =)

Click the picture to view the words =)

-signing out-
CUBE BOX
-Crystalbebe-

Xoxo i just express things in a different way than others.
Quotes of the day!
"Be Different , People follow other people's path but be the one that creates the path don't be a follower"

Why are we second best?

Why are we second best?
Have you ever think about it?
Have you ever felt like no one wants you and even if they pick you , you are always second and someone else or something comes first place in their heart but that will never be you?
I know how exactly are you feeling now...
You know guys? and RELATIONSHIPS?? Well for the first few months , they will love you alot your love will be very strong but as time goes by , its like a process ... the love will get weakened and both the boy and the girl will start to show their "TRUE SELF"
You know what i mean???This is what girls think:
we can always give up everything in our life just to make him happy , give up all our time , just to see them , we can sacrifice anything just to see that smile and sparkles in their eyes ... we will never feel tired or bored of taking care of them and automatically we will treat them like KINGS...
but what do we get? we will never be the first they want to see , we will never be the FIRST...
They can put their games , their work , their money , their friends first . Its never wrong everyone get to choose who they want to put first place and how they want their world to revolve around.
But its just sometimes girls get so tired of it! Every single time when things are planned out nicely they can always give up and back out last minute and all they can do is say SORRY. That anger and frustation in girls just disappear and they fall into his trap again... Compromising too much , giving but not taking... Tolerating
but what about guys?
Guys will always think that girls are annoying...The first few months they are very caring but later on they feel that girls are clingy , feel that they are not understanding them.

I just want to ask all the guys out there in this world...
Is it that hard to give up some time to accompany your girl?
is it that hard to not let your girl think that YOU CHOOSE YOUR GAMES OVER HER?
do you know how hard is it for a girl to know that you rather choose your game over seeing her?
She is craving for you but you on the other hand think that its normal to give each other MORE SPACE...
do you know that that space you put between you guys can actually kill your love? your love will eventually fade off slowly and die...
Guys you ahould learn how to appreciate all the things girls do for you ..
is it too much to ask for a few hours? is it too much to ask for just one look??

Lil ART Gallery






-signing out-
0 Crystalbebe 0

Domination of the Kitties

Well when i say domination of the kitties i don't mean CATS!!!!!No doubts they are very adorable, tame and they look super cute with their GOO GOO eyes staring straight into your eyes ... As you tilt your head a bit to the side and go like AWWWWWW Isn't He/She Adorable!!!!!


NO!!!! YOU GOT THE WRONG INFORMATION!!! AND THE WRONG MESSAGE!!! WHEN I SAY DOMINATION OF THE KITTIES I MEANT THIS MILLION DOLLAR BABY!!
Miss Hello Kitty ;) Isn't she one Bling Baby?!this is actually a swaraski studded doll

Hello Kitty is probably the best seller among toddlers and teenagers that are addicted to Adorable-NESS!

Why do i say that Hello Kitty is dominating the World? Well see it for yourself!Everywhere you see Hello Kitty!

People like their wedding cake with hello kitty on it!

Hello Kitty Here Hello Kitty there! Even On Halloweens ;)

Hello kitty watches

Hello Kitty guitar!!! WOW



Hello Kitty shops


hello kitty Flowers and wedding dresses!



Even Paris Hilton and Katy Perry loves Hello Kitty and dress in one!!! =P








Hello Kitty inspired Food!

-signing out-
0 Crystalbebe 0
Meowww Meooww~

Switch Up Twitch up

You know how things can get a lil haywire throughout the days?!
Well yeah!
JUSTIN BIEBER... he is always singing cute songs like
"Baby Baby Baby Ohhhh Like Baby Baby Baby Nooo"-BABY-
And
"I'm overboard and i need your love to pull me up i can't swim on my own"-Overboard-
And
"I close my eyes and i just see a better day"-Pray-
He is the guy that every kids/teenagers want to get a piece of him and all the boys just hate the crap out of him!
I bring you Justin Bieber and his Belieber fans!

Bieber!
And his SCREAMING FANS!


And Now i PRESENT YOU THE RAPPING BIEBER!!!!!!

JUSTIN BIEBER & LIL WAYNE - DR BIEBER DROPPED MY WORLD

Ladies Love me

freestyle rapping

Bieber there is something i got to admit... your freestyle rap isn't that nice but i like it when you rap with Chris Brown but still rapping is not your game babe!
stick with your cute love songs , pop songs and r&b its just weird to see such a cute boy rap like the big boys!

i present you the big boys that RULE Rapping!

Mr. Lil Wayne

Mr. Pit Bull

Mr. Flo Rida

Mr. Eminem

Mr.Chris Brown

These are the rappers that i love most although rapping is very vulgar and often about Women , Sex , Alcohol and Money but who cares!i just love their music the beat is sick , some great artist like Eminem can sing very touching and true songs ! i just love them =)
Beiber i think you should stick with your A-Game that is to continue producing the same songs you sing =)

-i speak my mind out-
Peace Yall!!!
-Signing out- Crystalbebe